Today, someone asked me if I would be willing to write a script for a chance to win 1K.
My immediate response was “I don’t know if I’d consider myself good enough to win 1K.”
Yep, self doubt is my writers block.
I’m kind of kicking my own ass over this whole NaNoWriMo thing. I’ve worked every day, ranging from 50 words on the page to 5k and yet, I’m suddenly getting the self-doubt syndrome. I feel stupid that I talked so much about it because now that means people will want to see it when it’s done. Hell, I’m petrified to share even a portion here and this is my blog.
I don’t think I’m concerned with the critiques. Things that worked and things that didn’t. I’m scared to get those smiles and the “that was nice,” comments. Because that means “it sucked” and “I pity your ass because you really think writing is your calling.”
I’m so close to completing this thing and now I’m getting scared of it. People say nice things, to be supportive, to not come off as jerks. One girl asked me what the story was about and I gave her the most ass backwards description of it and she did the “oh wow, that sounds exciting, I’d read it,” response. But would you really? You might think I’m cool or a nice person, a good mom or a hard worker…but will you really think I’m a good writer?
I guess I’ll soon find out.