Tis the season. So I’ll start my rants early. Hell if there isn’t an abundance of inspiration.

The Thanksgiving Day parade ends with Santa Clause and the flood gates unleash. People are planning their Black Friday shopping like neanderthals, our poor ass economy suddenly turns into shopaholics anonymous and money is spent faster than it can be made.

Does it bother me? Nah. I don’t really care. At least not for this post.

I’m a writer. It is my 24 hour a day job. But it’s not the one I get paid for. I’m in retail. The lovely arena that is retail. Being in retail allows you to see the good, the bad and the ugly. Wait, lets nix that. I’m not in retail. I don’t sell products. Lots of people do but I don’t. I’m in customer service. That is my number one priority and that’s what makes me good at my job. Period.

Being in customer service, you deal with a lot of people’s opinions. A couple of years back, I had a customer correct me when I said Happy Holidays. “This is the season of Christ, you tell me Merry Christmas.” I’ve gotten that comment multiple times over the years, it’s really no surprise to me. I see people on all the social media websites “correcting” everyone on the use of “xmas” and “Happy Holidays.” I usually stay quiet about this.

Not today.

First of all, I don’t say happy holidays for you. Growing up, I decorated with a Christmas tree and a Menorah.  My father is of Hebrew descent and so we celebrated Hanukkah. No, we did not do 8 days of gifts. Because that wasn’t what it was about for my father when he shared this with me. It was the miracle of light existing when it shouldnt have. Whether you agree or disagree is quite irrelevant to me. It gave my father joy and so it gave me joy. Xmas and the festival of lights was my shindig and I’m one well rounded bitch because of it.

Growing up, Christmas was never about Jesus being born. Not in my house. Period. Do I regret that? Not one bit. Christmas wasn’t about gifts in my house. We were poor. We didn’t have shit. Christmas was about family. The rare time of the year when children kept their innocence, family united as best they could and smiles were had…even for a short while.

That being said…

I really hate people who do this whole “don’t take Christ out of Christmas” speech. You fucking hypocrite. Do me a favor. Before you start yapping about the sanctity of the holiday and downgrading other peoples beliefs, think about yourself for a second. Is Christ in Black Friday? In the money hungry materialistic self absorbed gimmie gimmie spirit you project or teach your children? Is Christ in every box of gifts you think you’re entitled to receive? Is Christ in the Christmas carols you sing? Is Christ in the holiday movies you watch?

Better yet…this Jesus guy sounds like a real giving individual. He cared about the sick, the homeless, the needy, the pained. When was the last time you spent your Christmas day at a hospital, a homeless shelter, an orphanage, on the streets with the less fortunate, at a battered womans shelter, with cancer patients, AIDS patients, the elderly, the mentally handicapped? When was the last time you sacrificed your luxuries and gave everything to someone else?

“I donate money and toys all the time. I give to toys for tots. I gave a jar of peanut butter at the grocery store. I give to the dudes standing outside ringing for the salvation army.” Put what you gave beside what you will receive and reconsider your influence.

I’m not saying religious people are wrong to rejoice in the day their Savior was born…although I thought he was born in October or July or something…but that’s besides the point right? Okay, lets say he was born, without arguement, on December 25th. Awesome. Rejoice on that day. It’s his birthday. But um…why are you getting gifts? Why are you giving gifts to your kids? To your parents? Your siblings? It’s not their birthday. It’s Jesus’ day.

He must be one layed back dude because if everyone I knew showed up to my birthday with no gifts for me, no signs of humanity, compassion, love, selfless giving of time and energy to those in need…if everyone showed up to my day with gifts for themselves, spread amongst one another…I’d be pissed! You know what I think? Thats SELFISH!

First four letters…SELF. Holidays are about self.

Feel free to disagree. I’m all about everyone having their own view. But be honest with yourself. When I go shopping for Christmas, I’m thinking about what will make my son happy. I’m not lying to anyone and saying its a celebration for someones birthday. Nope, just another reason to spoil my son. Period.

So, if your Jewish and you wanna spoil yourself and those you love: HAPPY HANUKKAH! If your African descent and you want to spoil yourself and those you love: HAPPY KWANZAA! If your buddhist and you wanna spoil yourself and those you love: HAPPY ROHATSU (insert palms together hand gesture here). If you’re Islamic and you wanna spoil yourself and those you love: RAMADAN KAREEM! If you just celebrate the solstice and you wanna spoil yourself and those you love: HAPPY YULE! If you’re Catholic or Christian and you wanna spoil yourself and those you love: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Stop searching for reasons to get offended. If you’re that uptight, wear a freakin’ button that says “I’m Christian and I celebrate Christmas.” Then, I will know what to say to you. Until then, shut up!

I officially hate anyone who says the “don’t take Christ out of Christmas line.” You are allowed to say that if, AND ONLY IF, you are truly capable of taking self out of the holiday season (and this includes spoiling your kids. Sorry parents, but saying I only shop for my children is not justifying your hedonistic material obsession).


I now return you to your regularly scheduled program, The 25 Days of ChristmasKwanzzHanukkahRohatsuRamadanSolstice (Insertyourholidaythingyhere), already in progress.


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