I’m trying to find inspiration in my current position in life. There has to be a reason that everything has played out as it has. And yet, I’m coming up with nothing. Pain and sadness really should bring the most inspiration. It should push us forward and simultaneously show us the darker side. But how can I think of my future happiness when those around me sink into oblivion. When those that will always matter delve deeper into a secluded, misery driven life.
There are things happening in my world and for the first time…I’m unable to talk about it. I cant express my worries, my fears. I have to keep these with me. And hope that time will mend the wounds. But what if they don’t. What if I’m watching a sinking ship? How the hell do I save someone who doesn’t think they need saving? Or more troubling…how do I save someone that is convinced I am the only one that can save them?
I am truly lost tonight. No words for the novel…no snarky remarks or witty thoughts. I’m just lost. I don’t know what to do.