1.81 – The Year To Come

2012. It’s almost here. And out comes the list. The list of hope. Of growth. Progress.

In 2012 I want to…

  • stop smoking. I’ve failed on this quite a few times. But I’ve realized, now more than ever that my health is something I owe to my son. To give us more time. And he will be worth the temporary discomfort.
  • Learn Yoga. This goes along with the whole healthy thing. My body aches so often and I’m too damned young for that.
  • Edit Dream Catcher. I wrote the piece in 2011. 2012 will be my year to tweak it into a completed piece.
  • Complete Euphoric Damnation. This has been my baby for four years and I’m ready to get it out on paper.
  • Submit one piece of work to a literary agent/publishing house with a query.  This one will probably be the hardest for me. I’m scared of the rejection but I won’t know until I try.
  • Read at least 52 books this year. As an aspiring writer, reading is a fundamental part of my work. And it makes me happy. I doubt this one will be a problem with my Nook Tablet.
  • Take Hunter to NYC at least once. I want my son to know his family and it has to be with effort on my part to make that happen.
  • Get a promotion at work. This is going to take a lot of hard work. Probably more work than I’ve done in 2011. Everything I thought I achieved in 2011 has to be done tenfold in the new year to show my potential.
  • Make a dent in debt. This one is not going to be fixed in 2012 alone. I’ve acquired quite a bit due to all of this breast surgeries and moving out on my own. But I determined to work hard and paying back every cent I owe.
  • Create an even better relationship with my sons father. We’ve made progress in the past few months but I know it takes work on both of our parts to be the best parents we can be for our son.
  • Creatie better self-esteem for myself. This one is probably the hardest on my list. This will always be a work in progress. But I know, in order to be a happy woman, in my own skin…I have to accept who I am, work on my flaws and let past mistakes and painful memories go.
  • Be a better sister, aunt, friend. This takes communication and the effort of reaching out.
  • Take down the wall/taking off the mask. This is my defense mechanism, to make sure people don’t hurt me. I’m not saying I want to wear my heart on my sleeve but I know I have to work on being positive, friendly and showing my endearment versus hiding behind sarcasm and humor.
  • Be a better mother. Growing with my son. Accepting who he becomes and nurturing his growth, dreams and imagination. You can never stop striving to be a better parent. I dont plan on ever stopping.

2012 is about being a better me. About living beyond the labels and expectations of others. About honing my craft and embracing change. 2012 is about loving myself for the first time in a really long time.


6 comments on “1.81 – The Year To Come

  1. Surprisingly, my major debt isnt from credit cards. It’s from the medical bills I acquired while getting treatment for an undiagnosed mastitis which led to an abscess and 4 surgeries. I would probably feel more guilty not paying for it all thus far if the surgeons had actually fixed the problem but they didn’t. So four wasted surgeries, still broken and debt. Bleh.

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