Sitting in the airport, on my way back to the pit I call home, two guys approached me and my son. The typical “hello, how are you,” ensued. Mind you, I have about as much interest in these two as I do in contracting cholera but I avoid being the rude bitch I want to be and say hello.
Long story short, they are male “performers,” just back from The Jerry Springer Show because “that show just don’t have enough male dancers on it.” I did all that I could to not laugh…failing miserably…but at least I tried. I can’t decide what was worse: the beads around their necks, the “dance practice” that took place in the middle of the sitting area, the ugly lip tattoo on the taller ones neck or the questionable stitches on the same guys face.
My lack of interest seemed to have worked, since they walked away. But they walked right back up…annoying…and laid it on thick. We should hook up some time, dating long distance (Memphis to Kansas City) is totally doable, male dancers make an extreme amount of money…yadda yadda yadda. No.Thank.You.
Fast forward to today. Ran inside Aldi’s with Hunter – ready to get some milk and juice. I’m getting a cart and some guy walks up to me and starts talking to me – “so is your babies father white?” What a great way to start a convo. I walk into the store and he follows. He walks passed me then returns to ask me if we could hang out some time. I have no time to be sweet, so I say…politely…no thank you. He argues with me, questioning why we cant be friends. “Because you don’t want to be my friend. Period. Let’s me real, I wasn’t born yesterday.” He denies any motive, despite having just asked to take me out.
So he walks away…again. I finish my shopping and assume I’m just about home free when the same guy walks up for the THIRD time. He has a folded paper in his hand – his number. “I felt like I had to give this to you because I couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t try. So, you don’t have to rush…I can wait six months if I have to.” And he walks away. AGAIN.
Here’s the thing – when I’m with my son – YOU DON’T EXIST. You never will. That goes for the finest man on earth. If I say no thank you…I mean just that. I know what I want and I will not settle. My heart has known love. My body has been turned on by the impeccable. I may never have a repeat of perfection. I.Will.Not.Settle. My son is not bait. My son is not your segue to my pants or my heart. The “chase” bores me. The “game” bores me. Magic is real. Chemistry is real. And when you don’t have it…I know. Just as you should.
May you find all of the magic your heart can hold. And I will continue to hope for mine. Now, go away…you’re blocking my view.