I am tempted to recall your recorded words…to hit replay and rewind, to live in a moment of rapture when oxygen filled your lungs and love was true. I am tempted to say I miss being understood by a chaotic soul filled with divine, unprecedented beauty. I am tempted to cower under auburn sheets…whispering silly jokes only you would understand. I am tempted to laugh when I fall because I know you would. I am tempted to speak in a language that is not my own because you would speak it fluently with me. I am tempted to cry rivers and oceans and tear down mountains with the anguish of a broken heart. I am tempted to call out to you in songs only we can identify. I am tempted to talk you on the wind of a melody…codes embedded in the strum of a guitar and the voice of a dead artist. I am tempted to sleep an eternal slumber, so we can swim in a fountain and lay on the sands of our island. I am tempted to swear off what I do not have because I know what I had…what my heart dreams about. I am tempted to whimper like the lost girl that I am…what I wouldn’t give to hear you say “hello.” I am tempted to read the words you penned for me…those words being the only words worth knowing for a lifetime. I am tempted to say no one will ever match the magic that radiated from the fibers of your soul. I am tempted to say I will die alone so I can return to you and keep my oath of loyalty. I am tempted to wither away and die…a thousand deaths… painful… agonizing… torturous…to see you for the first time…a thousand times. I am tempted to live on…to live for the both of us. I am tempted to be your tongue…delivering truth. I am tempted to be the woman you saw me as.
Yesterday, today, tomorrow