1.135 – Blind Sight

Can you see me?

Hidden behind the masquerade of “I know what I’m doing,”

Underneath the layers of “What the fuck you looking at?”

I’m the most confident self-esteem deficient individual you will ever meet

The loudest shy girl you will ever know

And the angriest happy bitch this side of ‘who the hell cares.’

If only to find a blind man

To see me for what I want him to see 

Versus the damaged goods I truly am.

She’s that emo chick stuck somewhere in the middle of trying to forget who she was, hating who she is and wishing she could fast forward and be the girl she always dreamed in dreams beneath stained sheets surrounded by sirens and falling plaster in the gutter.

She’s that sorry chick hoping for tomorrow but stricken with fear because tomorrow always brings phone calls, which equate to death, and she can’t take another loss right about now.

She’s that vibrant chick that snuffs out her own light before the glances begin because it’s easier to believe that this is all a chose instead of what it really is.

She’s that pissed off chick that hates with all of her heart and all of her soul and all of her every breath because hate is justified and hate is her religion and hate is her God and hate has gotten her this far and hate is all she knows and hate is what she was born from and hate is how she will die.

She’s that dumb chick that can pretend she’s smart because she knows how to read people and manipulate them into divulging what they want to hear without uttering a word.

She’s that riding solo type of chick that pushes until their aint nothing left to push and the wind blows away all of her tears that no one can see because no one stuck around.

Can you see me?

Hidden behind the masquerade of “I know what I’m doing,”

Underneath the layers of “What the fuck you looking at?”

I’m the most confident self-esteem deficient individual you will ever meet

The loudest shy girl you will ever know

And the angriest happy bitch this side of ‘who the hell cares.’

If only to find a blind man

To see me for what I want him to see 

Versus the damaged goods I truly am. 

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