This is a rant. This is not meant to be nice or sweet or even thought provoking. This is me venting because I feel like it.
So, I’ve (very) recently come to the conclusion that I need to work on my positivity, my outlook on the human species, and my inability to give people a chance to show their good side instead of insinuating there must be something wrong.
I hung out with a group of people last night and actually allowed myself to enjoy peoples company without focusing on what could be negative. Went out to play pool and avoided blowing up on a sleazy, dirty old man…two points for me. This is going to take a lot of time and a lot of practice but I’m willing. Yay me.
And then I go to work.
And I listen to the tirades of a old angry woman. I listen to her curse and yell about the conspiracies against her. I listen and even advise her to speak with our manager (yes, she’s a co-worker). And then, she slips in some little dialogue about the favoritism that I have received. Because I have not been scheduled to work at 5am in the past several weeks. And how that is unfair in relation to the fact she she has in fact worked all morning shifts. That someone else has been denied a guaranteed day off to pursue college courses…and here I am getting to sleep in.
Well, fuck me running.
Furthermore, I find out from MULTIPLE co-workers that she has gone on several little tirades about me and the fact that I don’t work morning shifts. She had the audacity to BOLD FACE lie and say I have an arrangement with the manager so I don’t have to work mornings.
Oh no, bitch, oh no.
“Don’t you think it’s messed up that she doesn’t have to work morning and we do, that you can’t go to school but she gets a special schedule, isn’t that upsetting, I should make more money than she does, I wish I could come to work to sit on my ass and be pretty.”
Sit on my ass and be pretty? Because according to this haggard old cranky ass…that’s what I get paid to do.
Tomorrow, I will be at work at 7am. I will work until 1pm. I will drive to my second job and work from 1:30 to 9pm. I will then go pick up my son and spend time with my boy until he is good and ready to go to sleep. I will sit on my pretty little ass on Monday since it is my off day, which entails me chasing my son around the house, reading to him, playing with him even though I am exhausted, and attempting to clean our hell hole. Somewhere in there, I will devote 3-5 hours at the welfare office in which I will apply (under the advisement of my attorney) for food stamps since, despite working two jobs, I still fall below poverty level. I will also attempt to fathom how I will pay all of my bills and give my son something remotely resembling a Christmas without losing my mind or focusing on the fact that for the past 20 months, my son has been shortened over $8000.00 that he will never get back and 8 grand that could have spared me a lot of fucking tear filled nights. I will rinse and repeat for Tuesday and manage to include a divorce mediation session that will emotionally rock me to the core. Wednesday, I will sit on my pretty little ass for 9 hours, the same Thursday and on Friday I will chase my son around yet again until he leaves for his fathers house. I will then take my pretty ass to bed and sleep (BECAUSE I’M FUCKING LAZY) and get as much rest as I can in before I go to work at 5am and get off of work at 9pm. That is a 16 hour day. WHICH I WILL DO AGAIN ON SUNDAY BEFORE PICKING UP MY SON AND PREPARING FOR ANOTHER FUCKING WEEK.
Sounds like a walk in the park.
So…in short – the next time some droopy old cunt decides to talk shit on me and questions my integrity as a worker, I would just like to give a shout out reminder that my work day does not start or end when I walk through those doors. That my work stress is the LEAST of my fucking problems. That there is NOTHING she could do in the entirety of her meaningless existence that will remotely compare to what I do in a day.
Fuck you very much.