2.34. Sister Sister

Are you there, sis?

It’s me. Writing to tell you one thing. To tell you I am grateful. To know you. To call you my friend. My family. My crutch. My mirror. My reminder.

Of what forgiveness is. Second chances. Redemption. Unconditional. Truth.

Are you there, sis?

It’s me. Calling to say that I know we wasted too much time in this life. We let years fly and missed out; caught up in ourselves…in the darkness of mistakes and stupidity…in the whispering of others…and we lost sight…

We crossed lines and fought wars against each other – bloodshed being our intent. We didn’t care and could have stayed on the battlefield until the onset of our own demise.

Are you there, sis?

It’s me. Writing to tell you that I know we both miss him. We’d bring him back if we could. We’d give it all up to hear his voice again. To have our second chances. But he left us for a reason. He was tired. Tired of waiting on us to figure our shit out. He knew we were stubborn and self-absorbed. And he did the one thing he knew would wake us up…he walked away.

Are you there, sis?

It’s me. Calling to say that he left us with a void on purpose. Because he knew only we could love each other they way he loved us. He made room for us to need each other again. To remind us that we are stronger than our demons. That we are soldiers on the same team. Fighting the same war. A war we can, and will, win together.

Are you there, sis?

It’s me. Writing to tell you that I see you. I see the real you. I see the woman that works so hard to  provide. I see the little girl that just wanted to be heard. I hear the young poet who lost her voice and came back screaming. I hear the songstress who sings the tears of her heart. I know the woman who is scared to fail, to disappoint, to be lost. I see behind the quiet, the cold, the show, the mask. I see you. I see you. I.See.You.

And you are a beautiful soul.

Are you there, sis?

It’s me. Calling to say that you’ve made mistakes. You are human. You are not your yesterday. You are human. You have room to grow and you are doing so. You are human. You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are kind. You are intelligent. You are a person worth knowing.

Are you there, sis?

It’s me. Writing to tell you that I understand. Even when there is silence. Even when we disagree. I understand. Because no one knows our battle but us. No one knows what we’ve seen, heard and felt. But I am here. I am always here. I am never, ever going to leave you. I am never, ever going to walk away. We will not fixate on those who chose to disappear. We tried. And that’s all we can do. But it is you and I.

I couldn’t wish for a better person to stand beside.

Are you there, sis?

It’s me. Calling to say I am grateful we got a second chance. To remind you that Daddy loved you. That Daddy loves you still. That your children have every reason to be proud of you. That my son loves you. That I love you.

Are you there, sis?

I ask but I know, in my heart, I don’t have to.

Because I know you are. You are there. And I am here. For you.

Always.

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