2.43. Dear Daddy – Happy Fathers Day

I wish you were here. I wish I could call you again. I wish I could hug you. I wish I wasn’t so naive to think you would live forever. I wish I said I love you just one more time. I wish I could have stopped your pain. I wish I could have given you an even better life. I wish I made you proud. I wish I could say sorry for failing so much. I wish you could hug your grandson. I wish this didn’t hurt so much. I wish I could hear you laugh. I wish I could have avenged the wrong doings done against you. I wish I could have said thank you a million more times. I wish you knew how much I needed you then and how much I need you now. I wish my son could sit with you and pick up your habits of tapping your thumbs against everything. I wish we could go to Barnes & Noble one more time together. I wish you could teach me how to cook half as good as you did. I wish I could make you smile. I wish Heaven wasn’t so far away. I wish Heaven had phone reception. I wish you could have lived with us. I wish you didn’t have to see my life turn to shit. I wish you could see my life get better. I wish I knew what to do without you here. I wish you weren’t just ashes in a box on my fridge. I wish you didn’t just live in memories and songs. I wish we had new memories together. I wish we could have you back. I wish people appreciated you more. I wish you could see us reconcile. I wish you knew that we love you so damn much…it hurts.

Happy Fathers Day to the best damn father and mother figure I could have ever hoped for. I miss you. I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you!!!!!!!!

 

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