Because the ink is my air
And the words are my breaths.
Because it hurts to stifle the gypsies that dance in the catacombs of this mind.
Because the thirst is vampiric
Primal and raw.
Because nothing is so delicate as the clacking of keys
Stroking of pens
Slide of paper
Visions of a visionary
The bird that soars within me
Free to speak and preach and be
To give and tell and share and project
Images onto the wall
Because they are real
Each character and place
The plot has happened within me
The souls linger
Begging to be recognized
Forget the rest. This is not about poetics but the dream within the dream that runs from a brutal reality of living nightmares.
This is my ladder out of the dark hole. This is my rope of redemption. Pulling myself from the grave I was shoved into from the womb.
Because of a family tree that has rotted and withered in the darkness of secrets.
Because I want to be more than a dealer, a player, a con, a liar, a manipulator, a thief, a criminal, a user, an abuser.
Because these words are the seeds to plant new trees.
Of shade and fruit
That will bare the souls of stories and stories of souls.
Because my son will NEVER go to sleep hungry.
Because my son will NEVER know the shame of monopoly money.
Because my son will NEVER hide in a school bathroom, stifling his own cries within a stall as the remnants of their words bloom into scars upon the fleshy self-esteem they devour.
Because my son will NEVER will never be asked to be a part of the con so tomorrow can be easier. And I still wonder if those debilitating migraines stem from her wicked demands of bashing a broken piece of wall against my adolescent skull because “you’ve got to make it believable so we can sue.”
Because my son will NEVER curl his toes to fit into a shoe two sizes too small while I live lavishly.
Because it is my job to use what I know, those voices, those stories, that pain, and the creative juices that flow through my veins like the blood that trickles from their lips to make something beautiful.
To keep a promise that his tomorrow will be the rainbow to all of my yesterdays.
Because the pain of my past is worth the glory of his future.
Because I will make this life count.
Because I will build the foundation of his greatness.
Because he will NEVER know those types of tears.
My hands slam against the keys with purpose.
Because my hands will do for him what no hands have ever done for me.
Because I have to.